When I speak or act hastily, my ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot.
Being fair minded and tolerant is a goal toward which I must work daily. My 20 hour drive to Houston (and I took breaks along the way) still left me emotionally "drunk." Not physically but emotionally. I did what I needed to do yesterday to get back on the beam - slept, exercised, got some nourishment and attended a 12 step meeting last night. As things go, I have a friend, Rabbi Mordechai Grossbaum, who gave me a call, out of the blue, last night. Somehow my name came across his mental radar screen and he gave me a call - after I'd slept, exercised and eaten. We chatted for over 30 minutes. I was so pleased to hear from him! We just talked about what's been going on in our lives - as friends. How special is it when we drop what we're doing to pick up the phone, call a friend, and ask how they are doing?
At the meeting last night, the moderator talked about how his life was before sobriety: Lived in a place where you pay rent by the week, did not respect himself and others shunned him, was miserable and had no solutions to solving his problems. He came into the program, not by his own choice, but once there decided to give it a try. This guy was clean cut and wearing a pin-striped button down dress shirt, nice slacks and Allen Edmonds shoes. He has a job and life is going a lot better for him.
I only bring this up because my life is a lot more positive today than it was 25 years ago. I consider myself very, very lucky to be in the spot where I find myself. Today, my message and tone is directed at my being grateful for being able to accept myself for who I am and for the terrific friends and family in my life.
With that said, I often find myself running on a fast track - too many things to do and not enough time. Trying to cram all I can into a day. This obviously has its downside. Sometimes when I get moving too fast, it's hard to "be here now" for others. This is a character defect I need to work on. But right now, in my solitude, I'm in a place where I can look introspectively and just say to you: Your friendship is important and valued and please let me know when I do something that comes across as being rash and insensitive.
Have a great day!